Underhanded (Michelle Sportsman's Song)
from Immune To Consequences by Walrus Promenade
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about
When the Expansion Era was coming to its chaotic end, the Breath Mints fans realized that the time for strategic long-term planning was ending along with it, and it was time to swing big. Knowing that she was too valuable to last more than a season with our team (but also that there probably weren't too many more seasons left), we made a trade for Michelle Sportsman.
Michelle had a modifier that made it so home runs hit off her pitches would count negative, and her stat distribution meant she allowed a lot of home runs. (The season before we acquired her, she had a negative ERA.) She was just who we needed to round out probably the best team of Blaseball's Expansion Era and win us our only championship.
Michelle had a modifier that made it so home runs hit off her pitches would count negative, and her stat distribution meant she allowed a lot of home runs. (The season before we acquired her, she had a negative ERA.) She was just who we needed to round out probably the best team of Blaseball's Expansion Era and win us our only championship.
lyrics
You brought me in
when it was time to win.
And win is what we'll do.
You may not like me when we're through.
I don't know what the hell this team's deal was before me, and I don't care.
But I heard about all of your ridiculous little plans that got you nowhere.
And now everything's going to hell, can't you tell? Can't you all feel it?
You know time is running out to win a ring... so why not steal it?
(That's what they'll say
when they see me going all the way:
"She's the pitcher who needs no relief,
but only because she's a thief.")
"She's underhanded.
She breaks all the rules of the game and I don't understand it.
It's cheap and unfair and I don't know why they haven't banned it.
But I guess for those Breath Mints it's all going just like they planned it."
I didn't ask to be like this: no more than just a means to an end.
And I'll be gone in no time, so you can all quit trying to be my friend.
And time will tell if I'll remember all of you in a year or two. I frankly doubt it!
But we'll remember when we swept the Crabs in the Mild League Championship Series, won't we?
So how about it?
when it was time to win.
And win is what we'll do.
You may not like me when we're through.
I don't know what the hell this team's deal was before me, and I don't care.
But I heard about all of your ridiculous little plans that got you nowhere.
And now everything's going to hell, can't you tell? Can't you all feel it?
You know time is running out to win a ring... so why not steal it?
(That's what they'll say
when they see me going all the way:
"She's the pitcher who needs no relief,
but only because she's a thief.")
"She's underhanded.
She breaks all the rules of the game and I don't understand it.
It's cheap and unfair and I don't know why they haven't banned it.
But I guess for those Breath Mints it's all going just like they planned it."
I didn't ask to be like this: no more than just a means to an end.
And I'll be gone in no time, so you can all quit trying to be my friend.
And time will tell if I'll remember all of you in a year or two. I frankly doubt it!
But we'll remember when we swept the Crabs in the Mild League Championship Series, won't we?
So how about it?
credits
from Immune To Consequences,
released November 5, 2022
license
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about
Walrus Promenade Seattle, Washington
discography
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Nov 2022 -
Apr 2022 -
Apr 2019 -
Apr 2016 -
Nov 2023
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